Our Complicated Couch Relationships

Do people ever buy new? How long before a couch expires? What is the best kind to have with kids and cats? These and other profound questions answered.

Lizzi and Suk kept the couch from the previous tenants, adding a slipcover and some accent pillows. They hope to get a new one when they move in 3-4 years.

During the first 10 years of our marriage, my husband and I had a forest green and gold striped traditional couch given to us by my mom. I didn’t like it very much but it was sturdy and it was free. Finally the day came when we replaced it with a curved-back couch upholstered in a dusty rust fabric with cream sprigs.

My daughters rebelled.

Appalled that the only couch they’d ever known (and watched endless Disney movies on) was headed out the door, they climbed up into the pickup truck, flung themselves on their beloved couch and refused to budge.

It was then I began to recognize the sentimental attachment we develop to furniture, couches in particular. We spend so much time on them—they are the anchor store to our living room mall. It certainly makes sense. So then I began to wonder what the prevailing wisdom was in choosing and replacing couches. How do ordinary people choose their couches, where do they find them and how do they know when it’s time to make a change?

A new couch often coincides with a new home. Marla purchased hers when her family moved recently, after 21 years with her previous couches that were recovered twice.

For my cohort of ordinary couch people, I turned to Facebook. To my delight, many of my friends responded to the survey. I had certain assumptions when I set up the questions; some held true and some didn’t. The following “research” is based on 20 respondents, most of them Baby Boomers with an involved history of couch ownership.

Assumption 1: We hang onto our couches for 10+ years

Since I’ve had my couch for 12 years I figured my respondents had their current couch for roughly the same amount of time. This assumption is true. The average number of years owning their current couches is 13.7.

However, 50% of the respondents have had their couch for five years or less. “My friends tell me I buy more couches than shoes,” says Niki, who’s on her third couch in just 5 1/2 years.

Niki just bought this couch with matching lounge chair a few months ago. She was able to sell her old one for a decent price on Facebook Marketplace.

About 30% of the respondents have had their couch for five years, perhaps encouraged by the stay-at-home mandate of the pandemic to start making some changes. Karen, an admitted “exhaustive” online researcher, finally found the one she wanted at Macy’s. They bought it without getting to test it.

Karen’s smart blue leather couch was just the right size for their on-the-small-side living room. She hopes she never has to replace it or at least that she can find the same one to replace it with.

Turns out the couch was a great purchase and will remain in the family for the foreseeable future. “I’ve got to say, all of our Macy’s couches have been good quality since we bought our first one in 2000,” Karen says.

The outliers who skewed the couch life data were three respondents who basically plan to keep their vintage couches for life. Bonnie has had hers for 45 years; before that they were owned by her husband’s family since the 1920s.

Bonnie’s pretty one-armed couch has been in her house for 45 years. It was part of a set that was purchased for her husband’s grandparents when they were married in the 1920s.

Michelle’s mother bought hers at Bullocks in 1982, in a shrimp color that is now dusty rose. “She will never sell it or replace it because it’s made so well,” Michelle says.

And Andrea loves her demure classic couch—it looks like a Lawson with slightly rolled arms and skirted bottom. The 1950s produced couch designs at the crossroads of traditional and modern silhouettes.

Andrea won’t part with her 1950s couch that once belonged to her grandparents. She’s already recovered it twice since inheriting it in 1984.

Assumption 2: We tend to inherit couches or look for used furniture

Because new couches are so expensive I figured most of my respondents would have secondhand or inherited couches. I was wrong.

Only 15% have used or inherited couches. 85% of them have new couches, although this is typically after 10-20 years of sticking with the old couch.

Viki splurged on a vibrant red jacquard fabric for her Ethan Allen couch she originally bought in 2005. It was reupholstered in 2018 and Viki is hoping to have it at least another 10 years.

Even though the couches are new, it doesn’t mean they are perfect. My friends commented on things that bugged them, little and big. Debra has never liked her large leather couch, even though the rest of her family loves it. “It’s a sectional and if you happen to sit on one of the connectors it could break your tail bone,” she says.

Although she likes the look of their new couches, Lee says her husband wishes their new couch had a higher back. “We bought it because it went well with the room (decor) and didn’t focus enough on function.” Even after testing and researching, getting the perfect couch is not an easy task.

Assumption 3: Leather couches are not as popular as other fabrics

I was dead wrong on this one. Fully half of my respondents opted for leather and many of them have had a succession of leather couches.

Debra’s leather couch fits her home and her family’s lifestyle perfectly. But she still dreams of getting a different one someday.

Most cite pet damage as the reason they’ve chosen leather. Jeffie would have loved to have fabric couches in florals or gingham but chose leather instead. “I have five cats and 11 grandchildren,” she says, “so fabric is out of the question.”

Assumption 4: In general, we love the couch we have

Yes, this holds true. Most of the respondents are on Couch #3 or #4 in their lives. By now, we have a pretty good sense of what we like and what holds up over time, kids and animals. I was glad to see that a majority—60% by this survey—genuinely love their couch. There was only one hater and she was simply ready for a change after 10 years.

That’s not to say there aren’t problems. Savannah loves her custom Ethan Allen couch that she’s had for five years. But she says it’s hard to find cleaning companies who use the specific solvent the fabric requires. It’s not something you could anticipate.

Merrie, her husband Tom and Zoe have made their couch a part of the family. It’s leather, it’s stylish, it’s versatile and it’s sturdy.

So really, couches are like relationships. When it’s good, it’s good and you are happy that it will last a long time. Then things go wrong and then you need to decide if it’s time to move on or stick with something you know you won’t be able to easily replace. Too bad humans can’t be reupholstered.